Why a Daddy Dom and Babygirl dynamic?

Why a Daddy Dom and Babygirl dynamic?.

But wait…there’s more

So I’ve been thinking….yes again. Actually I never really stopped thinking about this. It has constantly been on my mind if not in the forefront, simmering on the back burner with a note saying “Important, stir regularly”. And that’s what I’ve done.

I’ll be the first to admit, I know nothing about this type of situation other than what I’ve witnessed/ been told or read on the internet. And as credible as each of those sources are, nothing is better than hands on experiance. Literally. Im talking about relationsips. And not the “vanilla” type either.

I’ve known from my teen years that such things existed, but they were always painted as taboo and not to be talked about or examined. And being the goody two shoes as I was I didnt question or challenge that order. Then I moved away and realized there was a whole new world that I knew nothing about but was too insecure to venture in and take a look at personally. Time passed and I took my time stealing glances at this world but never really committing to it. After all it went against everything that I was raised to believe to be right or wrong.

The more I looked the more I realized there are a multitude of layers and sub layers! It would be very easy to get lost in this new reality, might be best to start out slow and test the waters. Having been out of any sort of personal relationship for eight years, there was the lingering fear that I would jump in and royal mess up. or even worse mess it up for someone else. And that just wouldn’t do. Myself, sure I can handle that and fix it but someone else….

The main part that I see that attracts me is the role of a protector and guide. I have never been an “Alpha Male” personality so some of the stricter roles would not work for me as I would bend too easily and be manipulated. But Protector I can do as that is in my nature. And spoiling a loved one with attention and gifts at random just because? Count me in, Im already there!

Now I know there is a lot more than fun and games with this relationship. There is the coaching, listening, allowing the partner to express freely and ask questions. The emotional connection is deeper and needs more work than the physical connection. As luck would have it though, this goes both ways. I need her to need me to want me to be this type of person for her. I cant be a passing fancy, someone she leans on in a pinch and then skips off when it’s easy going. I want her to be independent as a woman and able to stand on her own too feet, and yet know that I’ll be there for her when she cant.

Waiting…

I knew almost instantly that I wanted that type of love in my life. To have someone I could take care of in every sense and who would trust me to do so. No matter what I asked of them. The struggle would be opening myself up to allow them to return the favour. I was raised to be the soldier who carried the world silently on his shoulders. No complaining, no asking for help, for there were weaker souls who could not carry at all. I was there to make their life a little less painful. My struggles were my own and no one elses. But inside I screamed for a release, someone I could unload my thoughts to, and not be considered a burden. But I had to choose carefully. Talk to the wrong person and my private life would be broadcasted all over the town. Confide in the wrong soul and then find that they were too burdened already and my issues had broke them. I would have to be careful. Patience is my friend….

Dark Side

For all my fun loving, easy going ways, I have a dark side. It keeps me up some nights wondering, worrying. Did I push too far, did I ask too much. Is there more I could have done. It houses my demon that keeps me awake at night and taunts me during the day. I hate being alone and yet it seems that is the path the fates have chosen for me this time around. So I move to help those around me so that hopefully in someway I can pay off what ever debt is overshadowing this lifetime. Was I evil in a past life. Did I cause harm that only my solitude will appease? Will my next round bring relief? I dont know. I am invisible. A name carried in the wind. My foundation is broken, maybe you can salvage something from the wreckage to create your own. If so, I will be satisfied.

Beauty

I dont want perfection, and all its glory.
I want your tortured soul
For in it I see a beauty
That only an angel could bestow

I see your struggles I sense your pain
A delicate flower in torrential rain
I see your scars with the stories they tell
I know this one has been to hell

And yet you stand with head held high
A silent defiance to the thundering skies
You once were broken, your soul did mend
Now proud you stand, you will not bend

Heart and Experiance

I have many voices in my head. We argue, laugh, and discuss ideas like old friends. And yet there are two that are louder than the rest and when they speak up everyone else shuts up and listens for a spell. They are heart and experience. Right now they are in a heated debate about a subject which has been sidelined for too long.

Heart is a quiet unassuming entity. Gentle and easily moved. looking for the best in life and people in it, he often often overlooks critical points sometimes to his own peril.His task is to help Experience look for the silver lining, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for without him Experience would shut down and never grow.

Experience is a weather beaten veteran. He has seen the trenches and the evils of human nature, and usually foresee when something can and will go wrong. His sole purpose is to protect Heart from damage. For without Experience, heart would be ruined beyond repair.

Right now they are discussing a person very close to Heart. He wants to bring her close and share her with Experience, so that together they might grow. Heart has grown quite fond of this little flower, probably more than is reasonable given the current circumstances. It started off innocently enough, and unintentional. They were just friends walking on a road headed the same direction with the masses. They would chat for a spell then take off and continue with their own lives waving at each other from a distance. But then the chats became longer, the subject deeper.

Heart consulted with Experience but was advised against any further actions. Experience opened up the record books to show that anytime Heart had gotten close to anyone else it had always ended badly. There was the accident/ the suicide and the one that left town with no warning in the middle of the night. Did Heart really need to add to the list? But Heart countered that this one was different. There is a perceived connection that needed exploring, that would be a waste if not tapped into to find its fullest potential.

But then Experience raised a valid point. This flower is not in your garden to water and tend to as you wish. This is someones Secret Garden. Yes the gate might be open and it might be in need of some care after years of neglect. But at the end of the day, all you can do is walk through and offer advice to the caretaker. If Heart were to jump in and start to cultivate the lands there would be more harm than good done and in the end one could not take pride in the finished product for it either would not be his or obtained under a faulty guise.

And so Heart bows to Experience. There is no denying he is right this time. But Heart will always be open, looking for that flower he can claim. For when he does it will be the greatest achievement of all time. And a chance to put everything that Experience has taught him to use, to create something beautiful, that can be shown to the world with pride.

The Battle

 Im not insecure but I do need validation now and again that Im on the right track. When I lay a heart claim I dont like to share. And yet even when the claim is wrong it still hurts me to walk away. When there is no communication my mind wanders off into the deep end and I get lost in what ever world I find there. When there is no communication I shut down and withdraw into myself, partly as a protective measure and partly to see if anyone cares enough to come find me and coax me out. I try not to get emotionally invested but you can bet your last dollar that when I do, it is not done on a whim. It has been measured out as far as I can possibly measure it and with experiance whispering in one ear to leave it alone, I take that step. Investing energy with no promise of reciprocation. Hope with no promise of a safety net. I build a world in my mind where it will all work out in the end. Not one with butterflies and rainbows for Ive learned a long time ago that that world is only for a while. But one where through it all “we” make it and are standing tall and proud together. Inseparable. I keep thinking there is a connection, that possibly this person holds the missing piece for me and I for them. After all, we stand on the same ground in so many areas and they have not triggered any of my built up defences. Maybe? I hesitantly allow myself to enjoy their company, to look forward to the next encounter. Im not a people person. I used to be but life took care of that. But for this one instance, I lower the bridge and allow them in….. But time again it fails. I want to call it quits. Close the door, raise the bridge, and let the path be overgrown so no one can ever find it again and tempt me with their sweet offerings. Love does not cater to this part of the woods, it only takes what it needs leaving the shelves empty to magically replentish themselves. The well is running dry, with barely enough for the soul let alone the visiters who frequent it.

Inner thoughts ….

You laugh, I laugh.

You cry, I cry

I watch you as the days go by

And I listen to your heart sigh
I see you walking the road in the crowd
Yet you are the only person I see, the apple of my eye.

There is something between us

And yet is there something more
I want to reach out to you and draw you close

Feel your heart beat in my hand
Taste your skin as you breathe on mine
Wrap myself around you, and you around me
But there is a fog that wont let us be

For your heart does not belong to me

I’ve crossed a line and my heart has laid claim to you
Let my dreams run wild of things that cannot be
Now Im in a lost state wanting to be yours

But is this just a reflex, to fill the void in both our hearts

I torture myself with another world

But by your side is where I want to be

Friends say Im crazy, that Ive lost my mind
And this might be so

But I want to know what is in your heart, mind, and soul

BabyGirl’s late night visit…

It had been one of those days. Early to rise, into the office, meetings with the boss and the bosses boss, everyone trying to put their best foot forward even though the unspoken reality was that the world was crumbling around them and everyone down to the janitorial staff would be out of work by year’s end. Proposals had been presented, shot down, reworked and proposed again. They had finally come to a tentative agreement on the payout for the short term clients. But it was the big, long time ones that were proving to be a major issue. They wouldn’t take a measly “sorry we are folding, been nice serving you” letter. They would go for the heart of the company and all its assets. Best to not expect a large payout on the last check as these piranhas would be eating most of it. He would be lucky if they didn’t take the very foundations of the building as payment leaving nothing but dirt for the workers to sift through.

Austin noted the voicemail icon on his work phone was blinking again. It was ten at night, didn’t people have the decency to enact a curfew and let others relax? Apparently not this guy. He half heartedly listened to it to make sure it wasn’t an “emergency”… nope it could wait ‘til morning. Time to turn this phone off and get some sleep. Dinner had been a half hearted affair, some left over noodles and a can of tuna. Just enough to silence the grumbling stomach, but Austin new that if history was to repeat itself the stomach would awaken him long before the alarm in the morning. So be it, the stomach was harder to ignore and a sure fire way to get woken up.

Time for the night checks, stove off, lights off, door closed. He didn’t know why but locking the door at night had never really been a big concern of his. He was a light sleeper and somehow rationalized that if he were to be burglarized he’d wake up in time to defend himself. Nonsensical, yes but at this point he didn’t really care.  Looking outside through the curtains he made note of the vehicles parked along the road. Nothing looked out of order. After being here four years he knew which vehicles belonged to which houses. There was one parked a weird angle down the way but he brushed it off to someone being in a hurry. Being dark he couldn’t really make it out that well so he dismissed it. Besides the other Block Watch members could take care of it if it was an issue.

A quick shower to wash off the dirt of the day, he climbed into bed. Usually Austin would watch TV or read but tonight he was just too tired. Turning some music on low he checked his personal line. No messages. Babygirl must be asleep. They had talked briefly earlier in the evening and then he had texted good night as was his custom. Sometimes she would reply a few hours later with a random thought that had kept her awake and he would do his best to answer it though sometimes the questions were way out in left field. But he was her Daddy so he did his best to help her learn.

Austin woke up to a weird sensation. Someone was on the bed beside him moving slowly to get under the covers. This was the weirdest way to burglarize someone he thought. No matter, he fiend to still be asleep to see what would happen next.  Then it hit him, this was no burglar, it was Babygirl. She was the vehicle that was parked down the way. What was she up to sneaking in like this? He knew her to be playful but never to this level of coming over and initiating playtime this late at night. Plus she was taking on a new roll, she was moving into position to be the big spoon, which he found amusing as his six foot frame dwarfed her 5’2”.

“Daddy are you awake?” a little voice whispered in his ear.
“Yes Babygirl….what are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep…I always sleep better when you’re beside me.”
Austin smiled to himself; there was no way he was going to say no to an answer like that. “Daddy’s here for you, you know that right?” “Yes Daddy, I know” Babygirl replied with a deep sigh.

He thought she was just absent mindedly caressing his arm and shoulders but that idea was quickly nullified when he felt the sudden twinge as she dug her fingers into his back and traced his spine with her nails.  This was no ordinary “Cant sleep” call…. Babygirl had a plan. As her Daddy he had been coaching her to follow through on her dreams in life, but apparently there was another one that she hadn’t talked out with him. Austin smiled to himself again…this girl was full of surprises.

“Roll over for me Daddy”, she purred, bringing him back to the present.  The room was still dark and Austin thought about turning on the bedside lamp while rolling over, but then voted against it. Babygirl was obviously playing out some fantasy that had taken a lot of courage and planning. If she wanted a light on she would have done so by now. He rolled over with what was meant to be a sigh but ended up being more of a growl. Time to see what Babygirl had planned…

With one swift move she straddled him, sitting up on his waist. It always surprised him how quickly she could move, almost catlike. But I guess that’s one of the advantages of being little. Next thing he knew his hands were intertwined with hers and pinned above his head while her mouth hungrily devoured his.  How had she found it so quickly without fumbling around, could she see in the dark? Her tongue darted in and out of his mouth stopping only long enough to bit his lower lip and nibble on an earlobe and then back to playing tag with his tongue again. Babygirl giggled, it was as if she knew she was in control, if even just for a moment, and she was determined to make the most of it.

He felt her starting to move her hips, lightly and slowly at first and then with more intensity and speed. When they had played around in the light, this had always had a hypnotizing effect on him. How could she keep her upper body so perfectly still and yet move the hips like that?? No matter, she was moving as if she were trying to start a fire. He could feel the heat of her womanhood and the ragged rhythm of her breathing told him all that he needed to know. She was building up to the edge….

“I want you Daddy, inside of me please” she whimpered. What a good girl, even in acting out her fantasies she remembered to ask.

“It’s yours Babygirl” He said.

No sooner had he uttered the words than he felt her hand on his shaft guiding it into her. Good god she was more than ready, her lips parting easily to accept him, the moisture and heat of her pussy engulfing everything he had to offer. She sat still for a moment, massaging him with her spinster muscles and gripping his chest with her hands. Even though it was dark he instinctively reached up cupping her bosom, massaging her nipples in rhythm with her internal massage. She arched her back pushing him  even deeper inside her.  She was on a mission and there was no stopping her now.  At some point she had stopped using her muscles to massage him and had started thrusting. Slowly at first, as if testing the waters and then her pace quickened to deep hard thrusts. Her breathing was measured; at times he wasn’t sure if she was even breathing all her focus was on the sensation building up from deep inside her.

“Breathe, baby” he coaxed

She let out a gasp and continued thrusting and rocking. Up, down, up, down forward and back. For once not being in control was an exhilarating sensation.  He reached out and cupped her buttocks with one hand and ran the other over her leg digging his nails in as she had done earlier to his back.

“I’m ready Daddy, come with me” she said, her voice straining with the anticipation.
“Let it go, Baby” he answered.

With one final thrust she found the edge and let herself take the plunge. She leaned forward her mouth once again finding his in the dark. The kisses were just as passionate as before though this time they were accentuated with her staggered breathing as wave after wave washed over her.  The contractions were enough to finish him off and he joined her in the plunge.

While the Thunder Rolls ~ A world where fantasy and reality collide~

Ever have one of those day where you are feeling lazy and yet
mysteriously charged at the same time? You want something exiting to happen, but
not that strenuous that you would have to contribute energy to its
accomplishment. You’re not tired, in that you have had plenty of sleep, your
work load is relatively light this week and the boss is pretty much letting you
finish the assignment on your own time, even though you both know that it was
supposed to be in yesterday. Yet, for some reason there is an imbalance in the
pit of your stomach, a feeling that just won’t go away. Someone once said that
for every action there is an equal and opposing reaction. Could be said for
emotions? If you are following along so far, you will understand the type of day
Austin was having.

Sitting at home on the faded leather couch with three rare weeks
off in a row, Austin was contemplating his future. Nothing too deep or
philosophical, just the age old question of what to do with his time. He was
already half way through this vacation as it was and being a career workaholic,
he was already getting bored and secretly wanting to return to his job as a
security officer with Tactical Assurance. His boss had told him that he was
too much of a “bleeding heart” and trying to save everyone was going to backfire
on him. But then, he had turned tables on an “individual of interest” and was
part of the largest drug busts in the history of the company. After the months
in court, being cross examined by a sketchy lawyer who was hell bent to prove
that the drugs had been planted, the boss had given Austin some time off to
regroup. Totally unasked for but it was not up for debate, so here he sat on the
downswing of the emotional rollercoaster that had been the past few months.
So far the day had consisted of wake up at ten, getting out
of bed at eleven only because the room was beginning to feel stuffy and sleep
was not an option. The bedroom had a one hundred eighty degree view of the city,
which was awesome, but it heated up faster than a green house if the air
conditioning wasn’t promptly turned on in the morning. Austin snagged some
grapes from the fridge and a glass of rye and coke, not exactly the breakfast of
champions but enough to calm the hunger pangs in his stomach until fully
motivated at a later time to put together something more substantial. Plopping
down on the couch wearing boxers and an old tee, Austin turn on the TV and
listened to the tragedies and heroic stories, the mundane weather report and
mindless cartoons, not really paying much attention to any of it. In the
basement he could hear Alda as she sang to herself while preparing for school.
She rented the basement suit from him and except for the brief moment when
filling out the application and showing the place they kept to their separate
lives. Alda was a music major and Austin enjoyed listening to her practice her
trills and such but for some reason her voice seemed extra melodic today. So
much so that Austin found himself dosing off into a light sleep.

Semi-conscious of his surroundings, what happened next came as a
completed surprise and was at first attributed to be a very pleasant dream.
Standing at the end of the couch was a figure. At first glance, Austin could see
it was a female form and even in his semi nocturnal state he was struck with the
raw beauty the form emanated around her. She was standing in-front of the window
her auburn hair seemingly set on fire by sporadic bolts of lightning. How had
she gotten in, what did she want with him and most of all who was she? As Austin
rose to a half sitting position, the figure spoke.

“Very sorry to startle you, I assure you that I mean no harm. I
only came in because I noted your door was open and I could hear your TV from
the porch.” Her voice was melodic, the way angels would sound Austin figured.
Was she one? Not being able to fully see her face Austin couldn’t quite tell.
“One hell of a storm out there, it only seems to be getting worse. The
weatherman on your TV says it is the result of that long heat score we’ve been
having. There is a tornado warning for the north of the city. Sorry, I’m
rambling on. You’re probably wondering what I’m doing here. My car broke down,
well flooded as I was trying to negotiate a puddle a block from here.” “Ah the
pothole on 4th and Stevens had finally opened up a sinkhole”,
Austin thought. He made mental note to thank the highways department later for
not fixing it as it had brought this beauty to him. The shadowy figure’s voice
brought him back to reality“…. and would you believe it my cell phone won’t
work in this storm. I was wondering if I could try your land line and as soon as
I contact someone I’ll head back to my car to wait for
them.”

“Sure” Austin said, sort of set off by the fact that a stranger
had just walked in and caught him in his boxer on the couch. “Just let me find
some lights in this cave of mine and I’ll take good care of you.’ ‘God,’ he
thought to himself, ‘I’ll take good care of you?’ What was he saying? This
stranger must be wondering what kind of person he was with a comment like that!
Oh well, where was that damned light switch? There it was. Flicking it on and
turning around he wasn’t quite ready for the sight that met his now fully awake
senses.

She stood not even ten feet from him, soaked with make-up running
down her cheeks and her short auburn hair plastered to the side of her heart
shaped face. Austin found himself following a trickle of water as it dripped off
her chin and landed on a barely visible tattoo, sensually it seem making its way
to her precariously low and offset shirt collar. He could just make out the top
of her creamy bosom, randomly decorated with beads of water, all bent on their
own mission, torturing him with minuscule reflections of her lacy bra. Something
was telling him to look away, and yet like a deer in the head lights he stood,
taking in the sight before him. Her paper thin shirt wasn’t helping matters,
clinging to the rest of her torso like second skin, outlining every sensuous
curve or her body. Letting his eyes drop further to her mid calf length wrap
around skirt, he found himself wondering if there were anymore lacy garments
underneath it. What a perfect picture, and with the lightning flash behind her
he could just briefly make out the juncture of her thighs. Good grief how he
washed he were that skirt right now. Austin was startled back to reality by the
voice.

‘Where did you say your phone was?”

‘Umm…sorry. I was still trying to wake up?’

“Sure,” she said.

The way she said it told Austin all he needed to know. He had
been caught red handed, visually undressing the stranger standing before him.
God, he was such a cad, but for some the reason the voice did not seem to be
reprimanding him. No, if it could be, it seemed to be playing with him and doing
everything vocally possible to stir the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Let me get the phone”, Austin said, hoping that his voice at
least was working with him. So far it was. He made himself turn around and walk
on down the hall toward the kitchen, ever conscious of her gaze on his back
side. He turned the corner into the kitchen momentarily out of her site and
found himself breathing a sigh of relief that he had managed it that far without
tripping on his own two feet or breaking into a run. What was wrong with him,
this wasn’t junior or even high school where it was a marathon just to ask a
pretty girl to the dance. He worked with women
everyday but then it was all business. Austin knew that this would just have to
be treated the same if he were to escape unscathed. A thunder clap jolted him
back to from his musings and gave him that extra charge that he needed to pull
himself together as he reached for the phone.Making a
side trip into the linen closet, Austin grabbed a towel. She might want to dry
off as well as use the phone. He could not be a bad host, plus he had to make up
for the blatant virtual stripping he had just put her
through.

“Here’s the phone as promised and towel to dry yourself off.
Funny how things can change so quickly. Last I knew, was scorching hot outside,
hence the open door.” He doubted it, but maybe the small talk would make up for
his actions.

‘Thanks,’ she said. The laughter in her voice seemed to carry
through to her eyes. ‘I study meteorology at the university but no one expected
this severe a storm.’

“You have no idea how sever the storm is”, Austin thought. He
wanted to dry her off personally, but handed her the towel and phone instead. He
walked past her to shut out the noise from the storm and out of habit locked the
door. If it had been any other situation, he would have made some juvenile
comment about her being locked in until he decided to release her, but bit his
tongue. Moving back past her towards the open linen closet door he stole a
lingering glance at another tattoo teasing him from between her shoulders
through the thin, wet fabric as she engulfed her head with the towel to dry her
hair. Why was ink such a turn on for him? No matter, she was here for help not
to give him a peep show, or was she? For all he knew she could be the little
devil who conjured up these freak storms. Austin absently mindedly set about
rearranging the items within sight. For some reason the crooked picture on the
wall and minuscule dust bunnies on the bookshelf were suddenly
unacceptable.

‘Well that’s just great! The fucking phone is dead!

Yup, definitely a little devil, Austin decided a little startled
at the sudden profanity.

“At least the TV and electricity is still on so we aren’t stuck
sitting in the dark. Can I offer you anything?” Austin said. What he heard next
sent his mind into overdrive. Could this girl read minds?

“I would love something dry if it isn’t too much of a bother.
It’s rather chilly in here and if I get any colder I might catch flu and then
you would have to put me in your bed ‘til I recover.”

OK then….definitely not shy!

“Well, I don’t have any girlie cloths but if you find something
in my drawers that fits your liking you are welcome to it.”
Damn it, he thought, I really got to watch those sexual overtones and
innuendos.

“Oh Im sure I’ll find something”, she said
laughingly……….